Jwo french kissed Kenton

Andy black has been sending pants / trunks to yoko (used)

Theres no scotch content in scotch eggs

Modified once, last modified by Power Ups! on Thu 29th April, 2010 @ 12:45pm

I read somewhere that Croatia is all a big sort of prank and doesn't actually exist. There's a huge "bee pit" where it should be that's covered in millions of sheets of A4 paper printed up to look vaguely like a country. I've been to Croatia but that's apparently some kind of Total Recall deal

The top-level Pineapster summit scheduled for Tuesday at Merryn's 'gaff' has been cancelled. It will now be replaced by a seminar on 'Panel-beating Your Car With Sliced Ham For Fun And Profit' delivered by Angela Rippon.

Modified twice, last modified by red_riviera on Thu 29th April, 2010 @ 1:27pm

you see, theres another one. angela rippon. we all would.

When I was a roadie for the Heavy Metal group The Beatles back in '64 I remember that Johnny Lennon coming up to me and showing me a picture he had taken of Paul McCartney's posterior. You could see his ring-piece but also a dark shadow which was thought to be a second anus which had been sewn up when the lad was a childe.

Thats a break through for fans of saying that Paul McCartney is dead!

All we need is a good look at his bum and we'll know if he's the real Paul or not

I'm really, really, very excited about this.

thats where rickenbacker got the idea for those guitars with stereo jacks.

Power Ups! wrote:

thats where rickenbacker got the idea for those guitars with stereo jacks.

They used to call McCartney Stereo Jack after that until it all got out of hand and George Harrison took me to a laundrette. He said, "Now look you young man, I'll have none of these roomours about r Paul. Let's play a gaaame. You get into that washing machine and I'l put you on a spin cycle and you count to ten. When you've counted to ten you have to come and find us awwrll. If you can't find us then you have to kill yourself with this h'roll of cling film and never be seen agggaaaaiiiiiinnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

Luckily I had my wits about me and decided not to get into that washing machine. I never saw the Beatles again.

Modified once, last modified by Priapus on Thu 29th April, 2010 @ 1:54pm

when he was alive - george harrison was a complete fuckabout with his practical jokes. i saw him glue a lion onto a schoolboys back once.

Barry Shitpeas wrote:

Mr Terrance Trent D'arby wrote:

Thats a break through for fans of saying that Paul McCartney is dead!

All we need is a good look at his bum and we'll know if he's the real Paul or not

I'm really, really, very excited about this.

You gotta prove you're alive first though Mr D'Arby. Rumour has it you are actually a fence panel caught in the radiator grill of the International Space Station, transmitting letters accidentally through the medium of 3G. An accidental life form.

No splendor of random lightning
Nor angelic creatures with an impossible
Fervor for defeatism
Created us. No! We are mere accidents of
Nature and nature has no intention, no
Morality, no sentiment, no love.
Nature is merely accident, and if you were in
The accident,
God help you.

That's nothing. When I was a roadie for the artist Simple Red we had a real incident. Simple (real name Mick Hucknell) got his hand caught in the confectionary dispenser machine whilst trying to reach some Fudge Cone or a Twix or something. The guy that operated Mick's hand when he was singing live came over and tried to grease his hand up. Only thing is that Simple was allergic to grease and started sneezing like a Howitzer. The whole thing toppled on them both. Mick was killed quite a few times, mostly from release of toxins from his damaged glands. He had to retire and another guy came in to take his place. I think Simple no.2 is much better to be honest. Anyway, after that I got made redundant. Sad but true.

Which stage is Simon Cowell interested in???

Fuckin hell Barry you're useless. I need this information NOW for a school report

is there a stage for medicority?

B TO THE MUTHAFUCKIN AAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

yup - i went there (and back) in a boat crafted from satire.

I feel pretty sad for Simon Cowell sometimes.

I mean.. He doesn't hear music in the same way as the rest of us. He gets no joy from it at all, he listens and thinks either "that's marketable" or "that's not marketable". That's all he hears and all he feels.

its his bed - let him lie in it with that mad Ton Ton Macoutes sympathiser Sinita (which is actually a yardie corruption of Sin Eater - which definiteley MAKES YOU THINK)

Makes me wet.

I approached this fat chick in a nightclub and asked her if she had a pen. She was all excited about the fact that she had a man showing her interest and she gave me a smile and said, "Yes I do" as she reached for her handbag. I said, "Well you had better fucking get back in it then hadn't you you fucking ugly pig."